2012 NFL Draft Guesses Part 2: AFC

Click here to read about the NFC's draft.

Now in my above NFC Draft Guesses column I used a lot of links to YouTube clips and pictures. The theme in this one is the meme. Now, if you are not aware of what a meme is it is a picture or two with a short caption poking fun at a situation. If you find yourself saying, "Why is Keanu Reeves telling me this?" go to this website to get a breakdown of what some of the more obscure pictures are in reference to.

AFC West


Denver Broncos- If you wonder why I call this column a "guess" look no further than the Broncos. They just signed the guess of all guesses, Peyton Manning. Now I can take an educated guess that he will be pretty darn good. I don't think it will be Indianapolis good but one a top 10 quarterback is not farfetched. Having said that, playing quarterback after having 4 neck surgeries is about as safe as, well...playing quarterback after having 4 neck surgeries. No one knows what a year of not playing and those surgeries will do on him. With no 1st round pick to utilize the Broncos did most of their work in free agency. They picked an average defensive tackle from Cincinnati in Derek Wolfe in the 2nd round but hey when you go from nothing to average it's a win. In the 2nd round they also picked quarterback behemoth (he's 6'7"!) Brock Osweiler from Arizona State. He could not have landed in a better learning situation. The key phrase there is "learning situation." If "learning" unexpectedly becomes "starting" because Frankenstein goes down early, the Broncos are in deep, deep trouble.

Kansas City Chiefs- After recent top defensive linemen draft picks Tyson Jackson and Glenn Dorsey have shown that college dominance doesn't necessarily translate to professional success, the Chiefs tried to reverse their fortunes to see what a defensive lineman who wasn't dominant in college will do in the NFL. They drafted defensive tackle Dontari Poe with the 11th overall pick. This is the same guy who did not make the All-Conference First Team. Now if he was playing in the SEC or Big 10 it would be just a little alright. He played for Memphis in Conference USA. If you are the 11th PICK IN THE DRAFT you better damn well be able to dominate CONFERENCE USA and the likes of RICE, EAST CAROLINA, and UCF. As you can tell by my caps-on rage I'm not pleased with what I see. No one else in their draft stood out for being particularly good or bad but just a resounding "Meh." Their biggest questions are whether Jamaal Charles and Eric Berry will come back healthy, how much more can Matt Cassel contribute, and how long will it take for the honeymoon to wear off for Romeo Crennel.

Oakland Raiders- How are you enjoying Carson Palmer now Raider fans? Now you have felt exactly half of the force of the trade from a drafting standpoint (this is painful enough already so I won't mention the actual playing of Palmer). The Raiders gave up the 17th overall pick in the draft and a conditional 2nd round pick in next year's draft (turns into a 1st round pick if the Raiders make the AFC Championship game...so it's a 2nd round pick) to the Cincinnati Bengals for Palmer. The Raiders also had no 2nd round pick because they traded that and a 7th round pick to the Patriots for a 3rd and 4th round pick last year. With those picks last year the Raiders took Joseph Barksdale and Taiwan Jones. I'm not even going to spend any energy Googling who those two people are because I know I'm not going to get those 7.4 seconds back in my life. The one good thing about their draft is that they stole Arizona WR Juron Criner in the 5th round. His ability to produce hinges on the ability of whichever of the two USC NFL castaways is throwing him the ball.

San Diego Chargers- The Chargers on paper were not bad by any means last year, but when your coach and GM have been dead mean walking for about 3 or 4 years now your team will suffer. Why Head Coach Norv Turner and GM A.J. Smith still have meaningful positions of power with this team is as perplexing as studying how the Universe works (Trust me I know. I took a class this year called Alien Skies. Mind. Blown.) They lost their big time receiver Vincent Jackson to Tampa Bay and in the draft they tried to cover this loss by drafting...no one. They did not draft a wide receiver. Off to a great start. They did actually do something right by upgrading the defense. The Chargers spent their first 3 picks on South Carolina DE/LB Melvin Ingram, UCONN DT Kendall Reyes, and LSU S Brandon Taylor. These three should be able to produce immediately in a positive way and improve an average defense. Because they still have the two aforementioned higher management disasters and Philip Rivers another 8-8 season seems in order.

AFC North

Baltimore Ravens- The Ravens ended up trading down out of the 1st round, but they still ended up with 1st round talent. They drafted LB Courtney Upshaw from Alabama who many say is a better prospect than his teammate Dont'a Hightower. The pick was arguably the pick of the draft then but now it has to be for the Ravens to compete. They lost Defensive Player of the Year Terrell Suggs, likely for the year, with a torn Achilles tendon. If Upshaw plays half as good this year as Suggs did last year the Ravens will still have a fighting chance with that Larry Merchant defense, very old and you think it's done but it just keeps coming back with a vengeance. They were average across the board on offense last year, I was looking for them to make a move on that side of the ball but it came late in the draft with 6th round pick Tommy Streeter from Miami who is big and raw but not an immediate contributor. 

Cincinnati Bengals- The Bengals were one of the biggest winners of the draft just from an amount of picks standpoint: 10 picks including 5 in the first three rounds. The used their first 1st round pick (thank you Oakland) on shutdown corner Dre Kirkpatrick from Alabama. After losing Jonathan Joseph to free agency last year Kirkpatrick will step into his big shoes and see if he can duplicate the year Joseph and Leon Hall had together two years ago. They used their second 1st round pick on Kevin Zeitler, a guard from Wisconsin. Basically any offensive lineman from Wisconsin starts immediately in the NFL and makes a great impact. They capped off their impressive draft by nabbing two playmakers at defensive tackle in Penn State's Devon Still and Clemson's Brandon Thompson. Now one of the weird story lines of the draft happened with Rutgers WR Mohamed Sanu. As the story goes, Sanu was contacted when the Bengals were picking in the 1st round by someone who said he was part of the Bengals organization, welcoming him to the team. The problem was that this someone was just a prank caller. I cannot imagine what Sanu's emotions would have been in that couple of minutes where he thought he was going in the 1st round and getting paid 1st round money, the Bengals picking someone else, and then being just mad, confused, worried, etc. So the fact that the Bengals actually picked him, two rounds later than he originally thought however, just kind of makes me feel like he is going to receive some good karma there.

Cleveland Browns- The Browns had the most picks in the draft of any team and they used them to get what they wanted. In direct contrast to what the Rams did, sitting back and waiting for either Justin Blackmon or Michael Floyd to fall to them, the Browns were proactive and did everything possible to get the guy they wanted, Alabama running back Trent Richardson. They gave up their 4th, 5th, and 7th round picks to move up just one spot to ensure they would draft Richardson. Some say this was a lot to give up for one spot but when you start out the draft with 13 picks you are playing with house money at that point. This actually made too much sense which is why it's being questioned by some analysts. Those same analysts were also bashing the Browns for taking a running back so high, saying that you could still find good value later in the draft who will get the same results. I am aware that there is no more important position than the quarterback, but when your quarterback is Colt McCoy (or later Brandon Weeden, I'll get to him soon) the best thing for him is to feel comfortable knowing you have a pretty sure thing at running back behind you. One more thing...Trent Richardson or Montario Hardesty? I thought so. As for Father Time aka Brandon Weeden, it was a great value pick. He was fantastic last year and Colt McCoy was sub-par at best. Yes Weeden is 28 years old. That can't change. The positive to this is that he his mature way past his professional years. A 10+ year career is very unlikely but why can't he come in and just play good football for a couple of good years now? It doesn't help that they still don't have a wide receiver that I would touch with 50 foot pole while wearing a Hazmat suit but still. (What's with these red head quarterbacks in the AFC North now? Is there a Lucky Charms factory that needs guarding up there?)

Pittsburgh Steelers- After locking up superstar wide receiver Mike Wallace in free agency (seriously, not a single team felt the need to make a run at him? Not even the receiver-less Browns made an offer. Things like this make me feel like I have a good chance of becoming an NFL GM.) With no real need to improve on their first ranked defense (Tim Tebow thinks otherwise), the Steelers went ahead and did Steeler things like drafting two offensive linemen with their first two picks. Guard David DeCastro from Stanford fell way below he was expected to go and the Steelers snagged him up. Next they picked offensive tackle Mike Adams from Ohio (State). As a University of Michigan student I feel obligated to include that he was part of the tattoo/memorabilia scandal that happened 2 years ago. Adams was suspended for the team's first 5 games of the season last year. All bias aside, he is actually a good football player and will help the Steelers line solidify. They also drafted Miami LB Sean Spence and the speedster from Florida Chris Rainey. Another ho-hum draft by the Steelers but one that will prove very effective. 

AFC South

Houston Texans- It looked like the year the Texans were going to finally break through and become a team that would be reckoned with. The stars and planets were all aligned; Peyton Manning would not play the entire year, Chris Johnson had career lows in every category, and Jacksonville was still in the division. Then Andre Johnson got injured, only played 7 regular season games, and didn't come back into looking like one of the most feared receivers in the league until the playoffs rolled around. But then another problem arose. Quarterback Matt Schaub got hurt and the experimentation began with Jake Delhomme's Corpse and then after people realized he was actually dead, replaced him with the ballerina Matt Leinart (I will never let that down. He took ballet as a class in college). So the Texans finally arrived at rookie T.J. Yates whom I have to say did a serviceable job and won a playoff game they should have won. Losing one of the best defensive players in the game, Mario Williams, stings a lot. So the Texans addressed this (I love when teams actually do that) by drafting the appropriately named defensive end from Illinois Whitney Mercilus. No one will ever replace Williams but Mercilus is a good start.

Indianapolis Colts- Let it begin. An era without Peyton Manning in Indianpolis looks more out of place than Justin Bieber walking out with Floyd Mayweather, 50 Cent, and the rest of that entourage before the Cotto fight. Luck is going to be a top 10, maybe a top 5 quarterback in the next 3 years. He simply has to be. I think that anything less and he will be considered a bust because of all of the praise he has received over the last two years. He is no where as marketable as Robert Griffin III as evidenced by his two pre-draft magazine covers (ESPN and SI), his trading card, and especially his first commercial with adidas. Luck can barely make comprehensible speech and even when he does we have no clue what he is talking about because he is so smart. But this has nothing to do with his on field play. He's going to be a star for years to come. Since the NFL is a copycat league the Colts wanted to jump on the two tight end bandwagon by drafting tight ends Coby Fleener from Stanford and Dwayne Allen from Clemson. My problem with picking the second tight end is that I have no idea who their running back is going to be. With Joseph Addai leaving (not saying much but still) I don't think the Colts are comfortable with having Donald Brown carrying the load. They drafted Vick Ballard from Mississippi State in the 5th round but I don't think he will produce at all. Don't look for a magical year or even years ahead but a giant leap forward has just started. At least they are in better position than this next team.

Jacksonville Jaguars- The good news: Maurice Jones-Drew led the league in rushing last year. The bad news: this was because they were DEAD LAST in passing yards. They still have Owen Wilson, I mean Blaine Gabbert as their quarterback which is a definite negative. Did you know that the Jaguars had a top 10 defense last year? Neither did I. But scoring a hair above 15 points a game did that defense no favors. They moved up in the draft a little to get the best receiver Justin Blackmon from Oklahoma State. I have no problem with that. He is an absolute playmaker. The problem is the person throwing him the ball. I don't think he can be an NFL quarterback from what I saw last year. He looked legitimately frightened out there as if 11 Hannibal Lectors were staring him down. With Blackmon and Laurent Robinson too there are no more excuses for Gabbert. This leads me to their 3rd round pick Bryan Anger from Cal. Great last name for a linebacker or defensive end right? Too bad this name from above was given to a punter. Yes you read that correctly. A punter was picked in the 3rd round. Now I realize field position is important but I think a player that will be on the field 30+ times a game is a little more important. I'm not exactly sure what the Monopoly Guy is up to but he better know something I don't.

Tennessee Titans- If running back Chris Johnson can get back to 2010 form and wide receiver Kenny Britt can come back this season from a torn ACL and MCL the Titans have a chance to make some noise in this division. It was only two years ago that Johnson broke the NFL record for yards from scrimmage and Britt was dominante. Heck in the two full games Britt played last year before his knee went all Baron Davis on him he had 14 catches 271 yards and 3 touchdowns. As insurance for Britt and more support for Matt Hasslebeck/Jake Locker the Titans drafted wide receiver Kendall Wright from Baylor who should provide a needed jolt to that offense. On the defensive side of the ball they drafted Zach Brown, a linebacker from North Carolina who weighs 245 pounds but runs a 4.5 40 yard dash, and defensive tackle Mike Martin from Michigan who can take up gaps as well as sack the quarterback. The Texans are going to be looking in their rearview mirror a lot next year with this team slowly gaining speed. 

AFC East

Buffalo Bills-  Chris Berman says it best...damn wrong video. Take two. Chris Berman says it best, "No one circles the wagons like the Buffalo Bills!" (I've heard him say that probably 100 times in my life. I have yet to have any clue what he is really trying to implore about the Bills. Are we playing Oregon Trail? Who died from dysentery?) The Bills made the second biggest splash in free agency by signing DE/LB Mario Williams to give their already scary front seven a powerful upgrade. They took care of their secondary by drafting cornerback Stephon Gilmore of South Carolina who will have a field day with fellow AFC East quarterbacks not named Gisele. Their very possible wild card berth hinges on the play of quarterback Ryan Fitzpatrick. Will he be the quarterback that played for his big contract extension or will he be the quarterback that pulled a Harry Dunne after he put pen to millions of dollars. They also spent their second round pick on extremely large Cordy Glenn, an offensive lineman from Gerogia, to protect Fitzpatrick. Move over Jets we have a new number two in town.

Miami Dolphins- Speaking of number two, that's exactly what the Dolphins did to their team and fans this off-season: trading Brandon Marshall for 30 cents on the dollar, not signing Peyton Manning, not signing Matt Flynn even though their new head coach was his coach in Green Bay, signing Legadu Nanee to replace Marshall, and then finally the pièce de résistance, drafting a wide receiver turned quarterback with the 8th overall pick in the draft, Ryan Tannehill from Texas A&M. That all just made me physically sick to my stomach to type. Taking an experiment in the top 10, let alone the first round is not recommended by 10 out of 10 people who are knowledgable about football. Matt Moore cannot carry this team to the Super Bowl and it's too bad the hotness of Tannehill's wife doesn't count for anything on the field. Having said that, why not just see what Moore has left? He was serviceable. Worst case scenario he destroys the Dolphins season and they wind up with Matt Barkley in the draft next year. That sounds like a MUCH better plan to me. And even after Tannehill they didn't get anyone in the draft that jumped out at me yelling, "I'm going to be a great pro!" Running back Lamar Miller from Miami could be their diamond in the rough.

New England Patriots- What else do you expect? Another typical Patriots draft that ended with exceptional players. Well, typical other than how they ended up with their players. I was shocked when I saw that the Patriots traded up not one, not two, not three, not four, not five times (actually just twice but that video just never gets old). They stole athletic animal defensive end Chandler Jones from Syracuse with the 21st pick. His brother, Arthur, plays linebacker for the Baltimore Ravens and his other brother Jon is the current UFC Light Heavyweight Champion who does things like this to other human beings. If there is one thing I can bet on for sure, it is genetics. And it's looking very much in Chandler Jones' favor. The second trade up occurred at the end of the first round when the Patriots drafted line backer Dont'a Hightower from Alabama. Whenever I watched Alabama play Hightower was always near the ball causing problems one way or another. This duo will be dangerous for years to come. And then talk about a possible Italian Job of steals. In the last round of the entire draft, the Patriots selected cornerback Alfonzo Dennard from Nebraska. He was a for sure first and second round pick but then he got ejected in a game for fighting. Then he punched a cop, which is generally frowned upon in society. So he fell to seventh. If anyone can turn this kid around it's Belichick. And if he does turn around then the rest of the league will take note very, very quickly. 

New York Jets- What do I do with these Jets? Their locker room got basically torn apart by Santonio Holmes and Mark Sanchez. They traded a washing machine and 78 footballs for Tim Tebow. They drafted Quinton Coples in the first round, a defensive end from North Carolina that has openly said that he gave as much effort on the field last year as Lamar Odom on the basketball court this year. Then they drafted a wide receiver, Stephen Hill from Georgia Tech who is big at 6'4" and 215 pounds and runs a 4.36 40 yard dash. Sounds promising until you see that he caught 49 passes...in his 3 year collegiate career. Yes he averaged 30 yards a catch. But that was because Georgia Tech lulled opponents to sleep with the triple option and then threw it up to him a couple times a game to keep the defense honest. This whole Tebow thing has me beyond confused. When was the last time a quarterback won 8 games, including a playoff game mind you, to be relegated to a punt protector on his new team? My prediction: the Jets start the year 1-4 with a win against Miami and losses to Buffalo, Pittsburgh, San Francisco, and Houston on Monday Night Football. After the Monday Night game, Tebow will replace Sanchez as the starting quarterback for the rest of the year, getting the Jets to at least a .500 record by year's end.

At the end of all of this however I can only say this: