Wednesday, December 22, 2010

NBA Playoffs, NFL Scandals, A Perfect Game, and of course...Tiger (OLD POST-TRANSFERRING FROM OLD USERNAME)

After last week's mega column that nearly killed me, I thought "Wouldn't it be great for this week to just be another calm week in sports with nothing really going on?" Well the Sports Gods had other plans.

Let's start with the NBA Playoffs.

The Los Angeles Lakers took a commanding 3-0 series lead against the Utah Jazz by pulling of a game that was waaaaay too close for comfort. One reason this happened: Andrew Bynum looking like he just landed on this planet the ENTIRE game. He took one shot in Game 3. One! Why couldn't the Lakers get him the ball like they did in the Oklahoma City series? It's definitely not because the Jazz have Wilt Chamberlain playing center against Bynum. It's a guy by the name of Kryrlo Fesenko, a 7'1'' Russian that has averaged a whopping 3.2 points and 3 rebounds a game in the playoffs. What part of that last sentence said that he would shut down a pretty good big man in Bynum? Nothing. Also another sentence that I thought I would never say is that Ron Artest saved the Lakers in Game 3. Ron Ron is averaging 10.3 points, 39 FG%, and a Jamarcus Russell-esque 22.4 3PT% in the playoffs which is probably Russells (trust me I did not and will not forget to talk about Russell later). In Game 3 Artest gets 20 points, shot 53.8% from the field, and 57% from deep. I was in utter shock. I honestly didn't think that he could score but what a way to prove me wrong. One other side note however. With six seconds left in the game, the Lakers had the ball out of bounds getting ready to pass the ball in. As Artest was about to pass the ball to Derek Fisher, Wes Matthews of the Jazz grabs the back of Fisher's jersey which doesn't allow Fisher to get the ball. The refs don't blink an eye. I was crying out "It's MormonGate! Joseph Smith bribed the refs with his wives and rigged the game!"

On another note how about the Cavs-Celtics series. Wow. One night LeBron goes for 38-7-8 and embarrasses the Celtics on their home court, then another night Rajon Rondo joins the likes of Wilt Chamberlain and Oscar Robertson as the only players to have at least a 28 point 18 rebound 13 assist night. The highlight of Game 4 had to be Rondo's fake layup behind-the-back pass with LeBron about to swat Rondo's shot away like he did on Opening Night. That shows signs off maturity and major intellectual development that Rondo didn't have two years ago when they won the championship. And Game 5's absolute destruction of the Cavs puts the Celtics in a great position to move on at home. Who knew the whole Quinton Richardson fiasco would spark such a fire underneath the Celtics. And for the Kobe fanatics using this game as evidence that Kobe is better than LeBron just stop while your ahead. The guy is 25 years old. He has many many years of basketball left. I would not be surprised if the Cavs don't pull this one out that we have seen the last of LeBron James in a Cleveland Cavalier uniform

Side note. Orlando looks really dangerous right now. They are playing in Eff You Nobody Believes In Us mode. They beat Atlanta by an average of 25 points a game! That is the highest margin of victory in a 4 game sweep in NBA history. Whoever wins the Cleveland-Celtics series is going to have their hands full.

On to the ever frustrating NFL.

Where to begin here.

I guess we can start with Brian Cushing, the reigning Defensive Rookie of the Year. He tested positive for the use of a performance-enhancing drug in August before the season. He was dealt an understandable 4 game suspension to start the year. But there are always multiple sides to the story. Cushing passed all random drug tests starting in September. What he used is still unknown because three different sources have said he used three different drugs. He took and passed a lie detector test when asked if he ever used performance-enhancing drugs. This situation is really a head-scratchier, but I think, even though he went to USC and the UCLA side of me is grinning like an idiot, Cushing should still keep his ROY honors.

Another situation that happened was as black and white as Michael Jackson; Lawrence Taylor being convicted of third-degree rape and soliciting a prostitute, who happened to be just 16 years old. Taylor said in a statement that he thought she was 19 years old. How does that make the situation any less disgusting than it already is? That's like saying "Well I really thought I stole only $1,000 not $1,000,000. I'm sorry." This is a very sticky situation that Taylor put himself into (pun completely intended).

Now the conclusion of the comedy of a career that is Jamarcus Russell.

What a monumental waste of money and potential talent. One of his former centers, Jeremy Newberry, stated that in between drills the players would sprint to the next drill to see who would get there the fastest. He also said that while this was going on Russell walked at his own pace from drill to drill. He cost the Raiders $100,000 per completion and $5.3 million per win. In comparison Tom Brady only cost $21,583 per completion. Yikes. I'm honestly shocked this blunder has yet to kill Al Davis. But I keep forgetting his blood is actually composed of bits of money so I guess it makes sense. As far as biggest bust of all time I think he's up their with the Ryan Leaf's and Charles Rodgers's. This will be his legacy unless he grows up, signs with a team for barely anything, and starts over fresh.

The Perfect Game

A feat so hallowed, so hard to accomplish, that the video game MLB 2K10 offered 1 million dollars to the first person to throw a perfect game on a designated level. On Mother's Day nonetheless Dallas Braden, whose mother passed away when he was a teenager, joined the likes of Cy Young, Sandy Koufax, Catfish Hunter, and Randy Johnson when he threw the 19th perfect game in modern baseball history. More amazing is that it was also Braden's first complete game and the first time a perfect game has occurred against the team with the best record at the time (Tampa Bay Rays). The last perfect game (Mark Buerhle) also happened against the Rays. The time between these perfect games (290 days) is also the least time between perfect games. Before this Braden was remembered for his feud with Alex Rodriguez when A-Rod walked on the back of the mound. This is apparently one of those "Unwritten Rules of Baseball" that was violated. Rodriguez was shocked not because of the "rule" but becasue who Braden was, or in this case wasn't at the time. Well A-Rod he's got something to talk about himself now.

Tiger

Tiger, Tiger, Tiger. An inflamed joint in your neck? Really? Did the accident also mess up your memory because I believe you won the U.S. Open last year while doing your best Bob Gibson impression. You were playing without an ACL! I'm sorry to say this but unless something LOST-esqe happens soon, I think Tiger is done. In the last two tournaments he's missed the cut and then struggled greatly before he withdrew. Phil Mickelson will take over as the new #1, which is fitting because Phil is one of the most family oriented player on the Tour, not to mention his wife's valiant fight to defeat breast cancer. Tiger should not play another event this year. He's embarrassing himself even more which is extremely hard to do after what he's already been through. By the way Tiger the new look with the sunglasses isn't helping the cause. Despite what you believe spectators cannot see your convoluted soul through your eyes so just put the nobody-likes-me shades away.

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